dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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