I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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