Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
