you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
did i walk over a car last night?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
