just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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