You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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