im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I met the friendliest cop last night
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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