Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
