I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
