Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
