I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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