I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
