Having a random hookup so left but love u
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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