so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
