You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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