I don't think brook has ever known best
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize