Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
