my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
