I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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