pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
