chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
