Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
