Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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