She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
