Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
