You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
