let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
