But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
