The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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