apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
