Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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