Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
