so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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