Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize