There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
