So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
