Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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