Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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