Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
