new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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