he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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