dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
