you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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