if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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