he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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