I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
