Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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