you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
