Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
