YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
