i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
