She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
