She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
