Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Randomize