You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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