A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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