I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize