Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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