bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
