Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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